The only time I successfully lost weight was in 2016 when we did the Whole 30. I lost 15 pounds in a month. Unfortunately it’s a lot of meal prep and dishes and planning and it hit us at all our weak points and I put 40 pounds on my frame in the two years since we stopped.
So I moved on to another program that should also, according to the research, help me prevent developing Type II Diabetes, which is in my family history and my doctors are shocked that I’m not already diabetic. That program is Intermittent Fasting. I was inspired by Dr. Jason Fung’s book and I’ve been doing a lot of reading and the whole things seems safe enough.
The great thing about fasting is you can stop any time you like. I’m working on two days a week with a “24 hour” fast which means in all practical terms I eat dinner one night, and don’t eat again until dinnertime the next night. Lots of water. Lots of coffee. Tea, even. And a whole lotta trips to the men’s room.
I experimented with a two-day fast, going from Sunday dinner to Tuesday dinner and I made it through until about 1 o’clock Tuesday.
My weight came down and plateaued because I haven’t solved the other half of the problem: on the days I eat, I eat like a 300 lb. man. We had some good habits coming out of Whole 30 that weren’t too onerous but even those did not stick. Changes in our work schedules mean we are out of the house for 11 hours a day most days and eating out is the easiest option.
I don’t love to cook, and I don’t love food that I care to do it well, and I don’t respect myself enough to make the effort. That is the core of my weight problem. I don’t care about myself. I tried getting strong and I got to a point where my weight didn’t matter as much because my body does not actually wear me down, except the soles of my feet and by butt after a long day of sitting in bad chairs.
The momentum towards not caring is so strong that I’m not sure even a major event like a heart attack would turn me around. I remember being more physically active as a teenager. I guess my twenties really did a number on me in many ways . My worst impulses towards depression and nihilism took over and I stayed there and despite being married to a wonderful woman for over 17 years I haven’t been able to crawl out of it.
I’m done.