Yesterday’s entry was a bit slapdash and done without notes. To be honest, that’s how I’ve been writing here anyway. My notes are growing in an Obsidian vault and simmering in the background, but that means certain things don’t get written when they should.
One of the things I did during my time in the chair was remind myself that I take cold showers and strength train because they are hard to do, and what I learn from that is the hard thing is temporary.
In the shower, even after months, even as the days get hotter, I hesitate to turn my back to the water and let the cold water hit my neck and shoulder. I shudder when I do it. I spend a few seconds debating if I should just “do the front” in the shower before I force myself to turn around. Most mornings, a few seconds after the initial shock hits, I laugh.
When I am squatting (last session was 315 pounds) there is usually a moment near the end when I think “I’m not coming back up from this one”, yet (except for one time in memory), I stand back up and rack the weight. The one failure is such a small percentage of my squats, it stands out as an exception to the rule.
For me, time in the dentist chair is hard. There’s a lot to not understand. For something so vital to my survival, I know little about my mouth. I understand the parts used for singing, not the strange relationship of enamel, dentin, DL, MDL, ML, or other strange things being said about me above my gaping jaw.
But hardships, especially voluntary hardships, are temporary.